Mailbag: Let’s talk about the cringy UFC-Golden Globes crossover

It’s that time of the week, y’all. We’re still in the UFC doldrums (though we’re almost out!), so let’s answer questions about all sorts of topics, including the awful UFC-Golden Globes cross-promotion, an early look at UFC 324, and a bunch of hypotheticals.

If you were Paramount Plus – and you wanted to push your UFC product on the Golden Globes (because the audience that watches the Golden Globes also surely will tune into UFC Apex cards), how would you go about it?:

1. Given you have Brian Ortega and Mackenzie Dern at your disposal, what would be the skit/bit/presentation/some other format?
2. Alternatively, what two fighters would you use to draw interest?

Honestly, no clue. What I can tell you is that having them “work security” for a promo was not it. That was one of the cringiest things I’ve seen in a long, long time. And the subsequent defense from the production team did not really sell the idea any better.

Look, we all know that the reason this happened was wildly inorganic and just about pushing the new UFC/Paramount deal, and that’s fine. While things are better when it’s organic pairings — have UFC fighters come out during some other sporting events, for instance — you can still make it work if it’s done with a deft hand. This had all the subtlety of a Las Vegas billboard.

And the thing is, they weren’t that far off from coming to a viable idea. The Golden Globes are famously one of the most lax award shows with a pretty loose vibe. Instead of having two unknown (relative to their viewership) fighters come out as “extra security” for a nonsense promo, why not build a real interlude skit around UFC fighters serving as security? It’s fast, easy, and gets the message across in a more natural way, which also has some opportunity for humor, as opposed to whatever that was. Here’s a rough script of what I’m thinking:

Nikki Glaser (Host): And for our next award ….

*Kevin James stands up, obviously inebriated: This is BULLCRAP! Look at all these fancy “actors” so smug and so pleased with yourselves. Sucking up to the Hollywood Foreign Press to get some gold-plated validation to stroke your own egos! It’s OUTRAGEOUS that my cinematic masterpiece Playdate was COMPLETELY snubbed!

Nikki Glaser: Seems like Kevin James is more like Kevin Jameson tonight. Can we get security here?

Kevin James continues to make a scene, even “takes a swing” at Dwayne Johnson, and BOOM. That’s when Ortega and Dern step in and tackle him.

Glaser: Well, it’s a good thing CBS has a bunch of UFC stars hanging around now if we’re going to keep hosting the Golden Globes! If The Smashing Machine doesn’t win, maybe we can get Barry Keoghan in the Conor McGregor biopic to repay the favor.

Someone send this to the people who make decisions and let them know I’m available for hire.

1. Yeah, that makes sense. Amanda is 37 years old and has not fought for 31 months. There is truly no telling how she will look. Rose is more egregious, but also makes sense. Natalia Silva has been hell on wheels since joining the UFC, and Rose is mercurial at the best of times. She also has never really felt like a true flyweight, so yeah. I’m fine with both being dogs.

2. Well, Arnold Allen hasn’t fought in 18 months. In that same time, Silva has gone 3-1 and earned four bonuses. Again, makes sense to me.

3. Yeah, that also makes sense. Umar Nurmagomedov is elite, and Figgy Smalls is old and not really a bantamweight. Figgy barely beat Montel Jackson; he’s going to get sat on.

4. This is the only one I’m really questionable about, but even still, I get it. WCA has been on one heck of a run, and Lewis is on a two-fight winning streak, but he’s over 40 and has one way to compete. WCA has a good chin, so I think he probably does out-point Derrick, but “The Black Beast” looks like a live dog to me.

Sean O’Malley vs. Paddy Pimblett

Between Sean O’Malley’s run to Aljamain Sterling or Paddy Pimblett’s run to the interim title, which title run is objectively weaker in terms of being impressive?

Ooooooo, this is a great question!

For reference, Pimblett’s UFC resumé up to this point is:

While O’Malley’s run to a title shot went:

Just looking at them side-by-side like that, it seems pretty clear that O’Malley’s run to the title was substantially worse than Pimblbett’s. Pimblett has pretty much exclusively beaten fighters who are past their prime, but at least the names were good. O’Malley beat one name of consequence (Eddie Wineland) and also lost a fight. The one saving grace for O’Malley’s run is that he did at least beat Petr Yan (the best win of any of these), but that was also a very controversial split decision.

Neither is going to go down in history as a murderer’s row of talent, but I favor Pimblett here.

Georges St-Pierre vs. Khabib Nurmagomedov

Hi Jed, what do you make of the Khabib v GSP matchup we never got ?

My single biggest thought about this fight is my sadness that it never happened. Would it have made sense at the time? Not exactly. But had Abdulmanap Nurmagomedov not passed away, Khabib retiring with a fight against GSP would’ve been the sort of spectacular ending to an MMA career we rarely see.

As for the actual matchup, I would have strongly favored Khabib.

In their primes, GSP would’ve presented a serious problem for Khabib, what with his elite takedown defense and strong jab. But even prime vs. prime, Khabib still would’ve had some tools to trouble GSP, namely his chain-wrestling from contact and his pressure. St-Pierre had exceptional hips and would have likely stopped most of Khabib’s first attempts, but that was only ever the beginning of the fight with Khabib. Once Khabib had contact, his diversity of attacks and his insane athleticism meant he was getting you down, eventually.

But by the time that fight would have happened, GSP was far from his prime. St-Pierre was probably past his prime when he fought Johny Hendricks, and though he moved up and beat Michael Bisping years later, that version of GSP was certainly not his best self. So now we’re adding even more years to St-Pierre and expecting him to hang with the best fighter in the world? Unlikely.

Because his reign at the top was so short, and because his accomplishments have been somewhat eclipsed by Islam Makhachev, I think Khabib may be the kind of fighter that people start to underrate as time goes on. But in terms of ability over his peers, I don’t think I’ve ever seen a male fighter who was better than Khabib Nurmagomedov at the peak of his powers. And if Johny Hendricks could make GSP look human, Khabib would have run over a worse version of him.

Predict how these alternate realities change the respective fighters’ careers. (First fighter listed)

HW: Fedor Emelianenko came to the UFC in 2010ish

LHW: Jon Jones never has outside/inside octagon issues

MW: Anderson Silva loses to Chael Sonnen the first time

WW: GSP doesn’t retire after the Hendricks win

LW: Khabib doesn’t retire after the Justin Gaethje win

FW: Jose Aldo beats Conor McGregor

BW: Dominick Cruz stays healthy

FLW: Demetrious Johnson doesn’t get traded

Because this is already quite long, I’m going to hit this in rapid-fire fashion to end things.

1. I’m assuming this is pre-Fabricio Werdum loss. I think Fedor beats Brock Lesnar, but it’s close. Brock could wrestle and be enormous, but Brock hated getting hit. But Cain beats Fedor, he hangs around for a bit, has some good fights, then goes off to do his own thing again.

2. Jon Jones is unequivocally the greatest fighter of all time and a household name around the world. But this is a moot point because if Jon wasn’t a psycho, he wouldn’t be Jon, and might not be half the fighter he was.

3. If I could change any outcome in MMA history, this is No. 2 on my list. It would be so funny. It was already hilarious that Chael nearly beat him anyway. But because Chael would’ve popped right after, he’d have lost the belt, and they’d have run it right back. Same basic outcome, but much funnier for Chael to have a few days as champion, even if we lose one of the greatest comebacks in the history of the sport.

4. They do an immediate rematch, and Hendricks wins outright. Georges retires for good. He never comes back because the UFC won’t let him come back to middleweight. His legacy takes a hit, but Michael Bisping is forced to defend his title against Yoel Romero, who clobbers him. Romero gets the belt he should have had.

5. He fights Charles Oliveira and slaughters him. It would not be competitive. Then he retires at 30-0. Or maybe the GSP fight, then retirement. But he was never hanging around long, because he wanted Islam to get his shot.

6. The No. 1 outcome I’d most like to change. Fans would have a much better understanding of Aldo’s greatness, and no one would dispute his place as Top 5 all-time (really, Top 3). Instead of fighting Frankie or Max, he moves up to lightweight and beats Eddie Alvarez convincingly. Conor beats Frankie, then fights Max for the vacant belt and loses. He never ascends. We have fewer champ-champ fights, and no one talks about MMA and boxing.

7. He’s the unquestioned bantamweight GOAT and a Top 6 all-time fighter. Maybe higher.

8. He wins the trilogy fight with Henry Cejudo. TJ Dillashaw drops down, and DJ blanks him. DJ moves up and wins the bantamweight belt, but loses it quickly. He returns to 125 and has fun fights with Pantoja and Moreno.

Thanks for reading, and thank you to everyone who sent in questions. Do you have any burning questions about things at least somewhat related to combat sports? Then you’re in luck, because you can send them to me. Every Sunday (sometimes I forget and it happens on Monday), I’ll put out a call for questions on The Feed. Doesn’t matter if they’re topical or insane; just drop your questions there, and I’ll answer the best ones. Thanks again, and see y’all next week.